"My Dark Confused Life"

by:

R. Yates

This is my true story, one that whether I win this essay contest or not, will hopefully teach a valuable lesson about the perils of life to whomever reads it. I was a stockbroker in New York City back in the late 80's. Fueled by prostitutes, cocaine and the film 'Wall Street' , I was convinced that
I did not need family television sitcoms, as if I was immortal and unstoppable. Then came the 90's stock market crash, sided with my insistance to my clients that Crystal Pepsi was a "sure shot". I lost my job, my condo and worst of all, I lost the money to support my raging addiction to designer drugs, and had to stoop to the drugs of the street. Living on the streets, alone, shaking like so many crack and coke addicts before me, I was on my last leg. I felt as if my life was not worth living. I was on a downward spiral. Then everything changed. It was a cold, rainy night in the city. While lying in Times Square in a pool of my own vomit and urine, I was wakened from my meth/alcohol stupor to the sound of a revving motorcycle engine. This in itself would not have been uncommon, many people tried to hit me with their vehicles daily, but the dark shadow that rode this hog of steel actually spoke to me. "Rise my child" his voice commanded, and I found that yes, I COULD rise. So I did. "You are healed" The voice continued, and through the neon lights of the gay porn theater behind me, I could make out a flowing black mane of hair,
it looked like the hair of God. The letters 'XXX Studs' reflected in this dark Angels sunglasses, which he wore even now, at 3:00 AM on this cold rainy night while driving his 2 wheeled Chariot of Heaven. I fell to my knees and bowed repeatedly, before the Angel said to me "Worship me not child, but follow in my footsteps. Listen to the wisdom of Journey,Foreigner and REO Speedwagon. Shred the air as if you hold a
guitar of flame and let thy hair flow like my hair flows. And do not give up on family sitcom. Keep the faith." I then knew who the man in front of me was...Jesse, from Full House fame. With that he handed me a pair of dark shades and a black leather jacket, studded with metal. I looked up to say thank you, but he was gone. Not a trace of Jesse, though I could swear I heard his hog echoing down the road through the rain. The following day, I put on the jacket and glasses over my ragged clothing, and removed my hat to let my oiled, unwashed hair fall. I began to walk down the street, shredding my air guitar and singing the songs dictated to me by Jesse himself. No sooner did I do this, a limo pulled along side of me and a man within asked me if I would like to join a rock band.That is how I came to be the singer in a very popular rock band, and more importantly, that is how I came to understand all of life's philosophy. All because of Jesse.

Sincerely,

A Rock Star/Born Again Full House Fan
 

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