Step 1: Gather all necessary materials as pictured below

You will need rocks, a Sega Saturn, some celery, spaghetti noodles, thumbtacks, a port-o-potty, and a cellular telephone from the 1980's

Step 2: Insert the celery into the Sega Saturn, and tie it down with the spaghetti noodles. You can experiment with various types of noodles to see which one works best. Uncle Jesse already knows which type of noodle works best, but he won't tell you. This mechanism will serve as your "Flux Capacitor." Make sure to comb your hair.

Step 3: Take the rocks, and hit yourself in the head...because you are not as sweet as Uncle Jesse.

(not as sweet as Uncle Jesse)

Step 4: Fasten the "Flux Capacitor" to the port-o-potty with the thumb tacks, and place the cellular telephone from the 1980's on top of the port-o-potty. This will serve as your "Time Antenna." Throw a few combs and a picture of Elvis on there for good measure.

Step 6: Sit inside the port-o-potty and close the door. As soon as you close the door, say the magic spell...

Time Travel!

Time Travel!

Have Mercy!

and you will be magically whisked away to 1993. (Note, this model for a Time Machine will only transport you to 1993).

CONGRATULATIONS! You have made a Time Machine! It wasn't as sweet as Uncle Jesse's, and you are still way lame, but at least you can transport yourself back to 1993 so Uncle Jesse doesn't have to look at you ever again. Good Work!

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