We here at WWUJD.com proudly present the incomparable...
August Balls was born in a White Castle restaurant in Upper Sandusky, OH some 25 years ago. It was on that day that the world was blessed with a child of miraculous potential. After growing up on the mean streets of Idaho, August moved to Pahrump, Nevada in hopes of becoming a Grand Canyon Tour Guide. However, when a tour took a turn for the worse and four children were kicked in the face by their mules, Balls was let go. His hopes crushed, and his dreams shattered, Balls made his way to Los Angeles, where he discovered he had a talent for adult-film acting--specifically in the area of stunt work. Balls hit L.A. with a vengeance, and has since starred in over 40 films (just like Mel Gibson). He currently lives in Hollywood Hills with his parakeet, "Scrotum," and continues to amaze his legions of fans with the magic of the legend that is...
August Balls!!
Vital Statistics:
| Date of birth: |
06/09/1978 |
| Shoe Size: | 13 (and yes, what they say about guys with big shoes is true) |
| Hair Color: |
Jet Black |
| Chest Hair: | Yes |
| Occupation: | Porno stunt man |
| Waist Size: | 34 Husky |
| Favorite Color: | Flesh-tone |
| Favorite Song: | "Gossip Folks"-Missy Elliot |
| Favorite Barbaric Tribe: | The Saxons |
| Favorite Smell: | "High Karate" cologne |
Recent Film Credits:
| Title: | Role: | What the critics thought... |
| "Ultimate Balls" (2002) | Secret Agent, Thomas Trexler | "August Balls proves how Ultimate his balls really are in this movie. He constantly outdoes himself with every new movie he stars in. I wish he was my son."-Michael Mignona, Prison Film Review
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| "My Balls, or Your Balls?" (2001) | Mentally disabled teenager, Terry Vines | "...nothing short of immaculate...August Balls is a template for actors of our time, and his performance in this film just shows how passionate he is about his work, and his balls. I wish he was my son."-Joe Flash, Big Bear Movie House
|
| "Balls Ahoy!" (1999) | Grumpy Pirate, Captain Blackballs | "...a wonderful family film. Balls' performance is spectacular as a pirate on the high seas. The film follows Captain Blackballs (Balls) as he attempts to rid the world of scurvy land-lovers. I wish he was my son."-James Decor, At The Movies
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| "Balls to the Wall" (1998) | Renegade cop, Lt. Martino Hernando Velasco | "This film was an adrenaline rush from start to finish. Balls has simply outdone himself, yet again. I wish he was my son."-Michael Connolly, American Film Association
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